You have chosen this life of faith in Christ Jesus, and you genuinely are committed to Him! When you first got saved, you remember how you felt so in love with Jesus, but if you’re being honest, you haven’t felt that way in a while. Instead, you wonder if you are even supposed to feel Him anymore. Is this how the life of faith is meant to be?
I believe that the answer is NO! That though we don’t live based on feeling, Jesus does care about our feelings, and he does want us to feel in love with him again.
In this post, we will cover 3 Easy Tips you can implement today to rekindle the feelings in your faith once again!
“How do I feel, God?” Or “What do I do when I can’t feel him anymore?” are two of the most commonly asked questions I get from Christians.
Many pastors and leaders will answer, “It’s not about feeling. It’s about faith.”
Yes, that is true; it is not about the feeling. Whether I ever get a goosebump or butterflies again, the truth is that Jesus is worth a lifetime of worship. If I never feel him until I die and go to heaven, choosing him is still the right answer!
BUT, the truth is also that it is good to want to feel him, and you don’t have to wait until death to feel connected to the one you love.
Is that wrong? Is it lacking in faith to want to feel God? Not at all!
So what do we do?
1. Treat Your Faith like a Marriage.
If a married couple went to a counselor saying they want to feel in love again? Would the counselor just say, “Well, you committed, so that’s it.” And leave them at that?
NO! A good counselor would acknowledge their covenant regardless of their feelings, be proud of them for wanting to rekindle their love, and give them tools to help them stir up the romance in their marriage once again.
It is the same in our faith! We live based on covenant, not feelings, but God loves that you want to feel him, and like any relationship, you can increase in feeling!
We live in a beautiful tension here. Like a marriage, commitment is the foundation, but feelings are also very important!
Many people either choose one or the other. They give up on God when they don’t “feel it” anymore, or, just as tragic; they give up on ever feeling God!
The Bible is so clear that you marry God when you become a Christian, so we must treat our faith not as a distant religion but as a real marriage.
Isaiah 54:5 “For your husband is your Maker, Whose name is the Lord of hosts; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, Who is called the God of all the earth.
The church is even called, “The Bride of Christ.” What husband doesn’t care if his wife feels his love? None! Every healthy husband wants his wife to feel in love! How much more your perfect husband, Jesus!
So what would you do to stir up romance and feel connected in a marriage or a relationship? DO THOSE SAME THINGS WITH JESUS!
2. Go Back to Dating.
While I was in premarital counseling before getting married, our counselors told us about the importance of dating your spouse. They told us to be intentional about going on dates and doing things that we loved to do while dating.
We have a choice. We can live at the mercy of our calendar, being tossed to and fro by life’s never-ending events, or use our calendar to protect what matters most! (Learn 4 other habits of Jesus to do when you feel exhausted here)
My wife and I have to plan out a specific “Date Day” ahead of time and put it on the calendar. Then if anyone asks if we are free that day, we say no, we already have plans. We planned ahead of time to do something that would stir up love.
We plan days to go away and go hiking, have dinner, or see a play at the theater. We intentionally plan romantic time! Of course, spontaneous romantic moments happen during our week, but regardless, we plan to be romantic and go back to dating.
It is the same with Christ! We never feel him because we never make time to stir up feelings for him! We live dependent on spontaneous moments happening rather than choosing to create one.
We put our relationship with Christ on the back burner.
Look at what happened to the church of Ephesus in the Bible. They were doing such amazing things for God, but in working hard for Jesus, they forgot how to stay in love with Jesus.
Jesus says to them, ” but I have this against you: you have abandoned the passionate love you had for me at the beginning. Think about how far you have fallen! Repent and do the works of love you did at first. I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place of influence if you do not repent. (Revelation 2:4-5 TPT)
Jesus asks them to choose between work and him. He says, “You have fallen out of love! Turn back to the “works” you did at first. What were the works? They were the early stages of when they got saved. “Works” like worship, prayer, and connection with Jesus.
In other words, “work” to return to romantic times. Like a counselor telling a couple to work to be romantic intentionally. Jesus tells them to do what they first did when they fell in love with him.
Take a moment to pause and ask yourself, “When in my life did I feel the most connected to Jesus? When did I feel him the most?”
Then ask, “What was I doing during that time? Were you spending long walks with him? Did you pray and tell him everything in your heart? Were you diving into the Bible? Were you spending hours in worship? Then, whatever those “works” were, go back to doing those!
In other words, start dating again!
Jesus is so serious about this that he threatens to “remove their lampstand” if they do not go back to being in love. What is the lampstand? The lampstand symbolized influence, like a light set up on a hill, where everyone could see it.
Their lampstand was all the good works and influence they were doing for the city. They were feeding the poor and helping the sick. They were enduring persecution and were doing apologetics and exposing false teachers in the land.
Yet Jesus said he cared more about being in love than them doing all that work for him! The works are good, but if he has to choose between their love or their works, he is choosing love!
Jesus is so jealous for our love that he will remove anything that hinders love in our lives, even good things.
He cares more about you being in love with him than what you do for him.
Here is a practical challenge. Right now, look at your calendar and schedule a date with Jesus. Just you alone with him where you can go do something together. Go for a hike or walk in the park, read at the beach, or your favorite place. Do something to be alone with him in a special place.
Enjoying this Post? Let’s Get Connected!
3. Remember Why You Fell in Love.
When we began our premarital counseling, our counselors asked us, “Why did you fall in love?” Then they had each of us share what attracted us to the other. What caused me to want to ask her on a date? What caused her to say yes?
As we shared why we initially fell in love, I could feel the butterflies welling up again.
“Well, there is no one like her,” I said as she blushed. “She is kind and smart, funny, gentle, and so compassionate.”
We both laughed and felt giddy like it was our first date again.
Then our counselor said, “You feel that? You stirred up the feeling. Always remind yourself WHY you are attracted to your spouse. Remember WHY you chose them at the beginning.”
Then they said, “When you remember why you fell in love, it rekindles the feelings of love again. So always be quick to speak out why you love each other. And always brag to other people why you love your spouse so much!”
Beautiful advice for marriage, especially for our marriage with Christ!
This is what King David does in the book of Psalms to rekindle his flame of love! In Psalm 77:4, he expresses feeling lost from God. He says, “I am so troubled that I cannot speak.” He feels forgotten by God and feels disconnected. Then watch what he does.
Psalm 77:11-12 But then I recall all you have done, O LORD; I remember your wonderful deeds of long ago. They are constantly in my thoughts. I cannot stop thinking about your mighty works.
He chooses to remember what God did! He starts to rehearse where and why he first fell in love!”
Then like I did with my wife, he starts to compliment God!
Psalms 77: 13″O God, your ways are holy. Is there any god as mighty as you?”
Like when I said, there is no girl like her! Then look at verse 14.
“You are the God of great wonders! You demonstrate your awesome power among the nations.”
David goes on the rest of the Psalm, retelling the stories of how amazing God is.
This is why worship is so essential for us to feel God! When we worship, we remind ourselves WHY we fell in love in the first place. We are saying, “before Jesus, this is where I was, but this is WHY I chose him!”
If you want to stir up feeling again, pause and remember what Jesus saved you from. Remember the moment you got saved. WHY did you say yes? Remember where you were without him. Let yourself feel how you felt then.
Then affirm him like I affirm my wife as to why I love her so much! Jesus does not need our affirmation, but he does love it! And your heart needs to affirm him to help you feel it again! This will stir your feelings towards him.
For example, “Jesus, I love how faithful you are. I love how kind you are. You are so merciful, so sweet, so gentle. Jesus, you are the most forgiving person I know! You are so beautiful.” Any compliment you can think of as to why you love him, share it with him!
This is more for your heart than for his!
A good rule of thumb is, what would help stir up the romance in a human relationship again? There is a good chance most of those principles will transfer over to your faith!
When you don’t “feel it,” don’t give up, and remember that our faith is a marriage built on covenant, but you can kindle feelings once again!
When you don’t know how to feel it again, I encourage you to treat your faith like a marriage, go on dates with Jesus again, remember why you first fell in love, and talk to him out loud about it!
